Fanaa

Another movie review... Again unwarranted... This time, I must impress on all you folks that untill I saw the movie, the only thing I knew about it was its starcast! So, all the opinions formed are mine... And if I have anyone to blame for expecting too much, its my bro... who gave me high hopes by saying that Kajol looked stunning and it was her best performance to date... That Aamir was his usual self... That though the movie was slow, it was good. So, here goes..

The movie began at the pace that normal life goes... They could probably represent 24 hours as 24 hours which goes to say, yes, it was slow! And Kajol did look gorgeous and Aamir looked drunk (I mean we all know he's no longer the chocolate boy we drooled over) but the bags beneath his eyes suggested he'd aged 10 years in a day... (Aamir fans like me can relax - he looks better as the movie progresses)

The one major underlying thing I never understood was the romance between the two. They are both Kashmiri Muslims... And she's blind.. And her parents (rishi kapoor and Kiron Kher) are more liberal than the most modern of Indian parents (I mean which parent tells a blind daughter she better go to Delhi to find her Shehzada??) And well, the love itself.. How did it happen? He seems like a street tapori at start and the 'shayars' after a stage are unbearable and have the audience around ranting some of their own (believe me that makes it even more difficult on what seems to be a boring movie!) And in no time, they've hooked up... Three dates later, they've slept together! (India must be bleeding tears for its culture) And as in all movies - One time is once too many... Ofcourse she gets pregnant! Everytime there's a hint of a romance, you can hear ARR crooning 'SubhanAllah' in the backdrop and after a stage, we started singing 'SubhanAllah' when we thought it was romantic... Cruelly, it never featured onscreen!

Then comes the transformation... The Tapori becomes a Terrorist.. He stages his death to his blind girlfiend (who he thankfully gets operated for her blindness and eventually cured -- This makes you wonder if the affluent parents had adopted her, having not thought of surgery for their daugther themselves) And the long-locks Aamir (going by the character name Rehan - u hear soo much of it) gives way to a crewcut terrorist in Indian army uniform. The mission ofcourse has been tried and tested - a series of bombs that can explode lakhs of people, that can be triggered by 12 identical 'triggers'. Our hero (well, villain if you insist) is on the snow, dodging the many snipers and copters chasing one man. Ofcourse these actual 'army' men have been put to task by Tabu. What prompted her to take such a lame role is beyond my imagination. She's the officer-in-charge of the operation to chase down Rehan. If Rehan was for real, he'd make India proud at the Olympics with his sureshot.. with a single pistol and a single shot, he can gun down copters.. while the poor Indian army, equipped with machine guns just about manages to wound him slightly.

As Fate would have it, the wounded 'hero' in the snow blizzard seeks solace at a solitary wooden mansion amidst the snow... And who must open the door... SubhanAllah!

His now-seeing gf obviously doesnt recognize him (she must've gotten her ears operated as well coz she cant recognize his voice either!) Their kid, now 5, is also called Rehan.. He's a cutie most of the time but can get on your nerves some other... Progressing with the crawling story, finally Aamir confesses that he is Rehan and to cut a long story short, they get married. Shortly after, a news item on NDTV speaks of our terrorist and slaps the 'trigger' in possession with him as an identity. And guess who must come across the trigger in Rehan's jacket pocket (thats such an innovative place to hide such an important thing) but Rishi daddy! He conceals his knowledge just enough to drive Rehan to a fellow officer's house before confronting him. In a 2 minute sequence, before you can follow whats happening, Rishi falls off the cliff by accident! But this is what clinches it... By the time Aamir informs his fellow terrorists he is safe and so is the trigger and is back downhill home, Rishi's body travels in a glacier of ice and finds itself lodged right in his backyard where his daughter (Kajol) sees everything and pieces the story together!!! AMAZING!

The climax ofcourse is dramatic... Kajol tries to flee with her son from her terrorist hubby... And cutting a huge sequence down, begs him to surrender. When he refuses and walks towards his granddad (bada terrorist) to hand over the 'trigger', Kajol begs him once more and resolutely guns him down....

Phew!

Final verdict: 4/10 The story was soo confused... At times, they tried to make it an undying love story and at others, some patriotism-spangled affair... The end product is a confused mess, giving importance to neither... This is Kajol's comeback movie... She's not lost her touch and this performance will work for her... Why Aamir did this movie is questionable.. I guess SRK couldnt be a terrorist if he wanted to.. Tabu - what a waste of talent... Case rested.